So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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