she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
