we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
