GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
