I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
they need to just BURY HIM!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize