I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
