Sponge bath it is.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How's work?
Spinning.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
