So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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