wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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