@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
