he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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