I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize