I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
