i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
