The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
