Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
