normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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