i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
