Its about making memories worth repressing
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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