yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
