i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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