it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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