Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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