What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
