So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
