your parents love me but you hate me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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