I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
