She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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