Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is wine microwaveable?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
