Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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