we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
