the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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