Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize