Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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