Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
