I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
