I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
