i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
