During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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