is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My feet surprised me
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