then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
