i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
