I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
