Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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