Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
