So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
