Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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