so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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