Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
