what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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