I cockslap morals
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
