If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
