No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
