just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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