He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
