the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
