I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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