well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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