don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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