You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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