so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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