On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize